Saturday, 17 August 2013

Dream (cont.)

It has been long. It has been long since I last hung out with Gray. I miss his voice. His jokes. His hugs. His touch. I miss everything about him. I want to feel his warmth enveloping my frame. All I had was his jacket, still stained with his cologne. I loved the smell of it. But it was not enough. I really wanted to be with him. I tried to call him once and asked if he wanted to hang out. But he said he couldn’t because he was busy with Suyeon.

Suyeon this. Suyeon that. What was I before she came into his life? Am I his toy where he can just shove to one corner when he is bored playing with it? After all those times and memories shared with him, he just left me hanging here. I really like him. I love him. It would be very hard to let go of these feelings that I have for him. After that one phone call, I just kept avoiding him. I guess this is just one of the ways for me to forget him.

It was another school day. I was walking down the hallway in school after my last class. Nothing has been well for me so the last thing I ever wanted was to face Gray. I jinxed it. I saw Gray and he saw me as well. I made a quick beeline towards the exit of the school. Once I was out of school, I took a deep breath before I continued making my way to my next destination. But I was too late. I felt his hand grabbed onto my wrist, preventing me from walking any further. His touch made my skin tingle in excitement. I have been longing to feel his touch. My heart beat too fast that it kept ringing in my ears. I turned around to face him but I kept looking elsewhere.

“Why are you avoiding me?” he questioned me with his concerned eyes.

I just shrugged my shoulders and avoided eye contact. I could sense how pissed he was feeling at that moment. He grabbed onto my shoulders and looked into my eyes, though I kept looking away.

“Yah. Can you stop it? Why are you avoiding me?” he asked again as he tightened his grip on my shoulders.

“Nothing. I just… I need to go. I’m meeting someone,”

“Who? Where?”

“Why do you care? You’re not my boyfriend,”

“Just tell me!”

“Fine! I’m heading to the pizza parlour near my place with Chanyeol,”

“Your neighbour? Is this some kind of date?”

“It might be. Whatever. If you don’t mind, I need to go,” I pushed his hands away and rushed over to the pizza parlour.

He just stood there in shock, watching me walking away from him.

I feel so bad for telling him that my meeting with Chanyeol might be a date. I couldn’t think of what else to say. My meeting with Chanyeol is actually a tutoring session. He’s a really good tutor and pretty good looking as well. He had chocolate brown hair, but it is usually covered by his snapback. He is very tall as well. He could even pass off as a model due to his good looks and model-like height. He tends to go for a casual sporty look like today for example; he wore a muscle tank with jeans and white Nike shoes. He was wearing a grey hoodie but he gave it to me because he noticed that I was pretty cold. He calls himself an elf because his ears stick out but I find them cute. His eyes seem to always twinkle whenever we share eye contact. But when we do share eye contact, he’ll look away and the blush on his cheeks will be even more obvious.

Without me knowing, Gray was spying on me. He sat at the very corner of the parlour and watched my every single move.

“Oh, you have an eyelash on your cheek. Let me help you,” Chanyeol said as he stretched his long fingers to remove the eyelash.

That was when Gray appeared.

“Oh ____, Chanyeol! You guys are here too,” He stood there and looked at the both of us.

Chanyeol smiled to him. I quickly dragged him to another corner.

“What’s up? Oh wait let me get that off your cheek,” he offered.

He held onto my face carefully and grazed his thumb over my cheek to get the eyelash away.  I could feel my cheeks becoming hot and blushing. Before I become all jelloid, I quickly changed the topic.

“Why are you here? Are you spying on me?” I asked as I glared at him.

“No! I was… Fine, I was,”

“Why are you doing this? You’re not my boyfriend, why do you care so much?”

“I was just looking out for you,”

“Yeah right! Whatever, just go and have fun with Suyeon okay?” I turned away and made my way back to the table.

“Wait! Why… Why him?”

“He’s cute. And at least, he doesn’t leave people hanging and waiting for nothing,” I left him standing there, watching me walking away once again.

I swear I felt so guilty. I didn’t mean it to be that way. I just wanted him to know how lonely I have been ever since that day.

After another hour of tutoring, Chanyeol and I left the parlour. He insisted on walking to my place before he head to his. We stopped outside of my door.

“Thanks for today Chanyeol,” I thanked him as I returned his jacket to him.

“No problem. Good night,” he blinked cutely to me.

He then came closer to me, attempting to kiss me. But I quickly turned away. He moved away slowly and bit his bottom lip.

“Sorry…” he apologised.

“It’s okay. Erm… My mum, she might see us. No one wants a long ass lecture from her,”

“Right, I forgot. ____ wait, do you want to go out some time? Well not for tutoring sessions,”

“Oh. I’m sorry Chanyeol. I am kind of… It’s complicated right now,”

“It’s okay. I get it. Good night. See you around,”

“Chanyeol! I really am sorry,” I apologised once more before he makes his way to his place.

I kept on thinking all night long. I thought about why I rejected Chanyeol’s offer. If I really wanted to move on and forget about Gray, I should have said yes and go on real dates with him. But my heart, it kept telling me to just stay on with Gray. Time kept passing. It was 2:21 am and it was raining heavily. I sat by the window, still disturbed by these thoughts. I suddenly spotted a familiar figure, standing by the pavement of my place. My phone rang and vibrated vigorously.

“Hello? ____? Can you come out?” his voice sounded urgent.

“What do you want? It’s 2 am and raining badly outside,”

“I want to talk to you,”

“Can’t you tell me over the phone?”

“Just come out now! It’s freaking cold out here,”

“Fine fine, I’m coming out now. It better be worth it,” I hung up.

I put on my pullover, grabbed an umbrella and rushed out. When I opened the door, I saw that man. He stood tall, arms folded with his clothes stuck to his body that it showed off his figure. I rushed to him and shared the umbrella with him. When I got closer, his body reeked of alcohol. He must have been drinking.

“Were you drinking before you came? I can smell it. Can you please stop drinking?” I told him.

“You do care! Anyway, I came by because I wanted to apologise for today,”

“Oh…”

“And also for how I have been acting around you these few weeks. Suyeon and I just started as friends then she cling onto me. I guess her presence blinded me and also how lonely you have been. I’m sorry,” he opened his arms and wrapped them around me.

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to sound so angry to you the whole day. I miss being in your arms like this, Gray. Can we stay like this forever?” I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeats. Even though he was drench due to the rain, I still felt his warmth on my skin.

“We can if you let me be by your side forever,”

“My heart is always open for you and for you only,”

“Be mine then,” he said.


He held onto my chin and pressed his lips onto mine. It was the best feeling you could ever imagined. I am just glad that I did not give up on him and that he did not give up on me.




















hehehehehe another continuation of my dream! yay for chanyeol for entering the dream but i rejected him :( anyways, hope you guys enjoyed it! :)

Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Dream

It was a windy autumn day. I just ended class and I was walking out on my own. When I looked out of the window, the sight of the tall man talking to his friends caught of my attention. Only that man. His hair – jet black, sides shaved whereas the rest of his hair stood tall in a stylish fashion. His glasses had thick round rims in black. He wore a graphic tee along with a long sleeved checkered flannel. His black jeans stretched on his long legs. As it drops to his ankles, it showed off his white sneakers. A smile spread across his handsome face.  He glanced at the window and I quickly divert my attention from him then continued making my way to the bus. I quickly sat on the empty seat and waited for the bus to start moving. I continued looking outside as more and more people enter the bus. After some time, the bus started moving.

I suddenly felt an arm snaked around my waist. My body tensed up for a moment. A familiar deep voice whispered, “Shh~ it’s just me.” I rested my head on his shoulder and moved closer to him. I loved how his warmth felt against my skin. He planted a kiss on my cheek then watched the surroundings change as we move to different stops.

We finally reached our destination and got off. When the bus moved on, we were still standing there with our fingers interlocked, looking at each other.

“Why did you look away when I saw you earlier?”

“I was just… Shy. Thanks for accompanying me back home, Gray. It was great being able to spend time with you,”

“No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow okay? Take care,” he embraced my body, kissed the top of my head, ruffled my hair then left.

“Gray, your jacket! You’re gonna get cold,” I called after him.

“It’s okay. Hold on to it. At least you know that a part of me is still with you. Dream of me tonight,” he winked and walked his way home.


The next day. The same timing. The same place. The same moment.

But the only difference is that he was with a different person. That person was a lady. They seemed rather close. Perhaps too close. Too close for comfort.

Were they friends? Obviously not. Are they together? Probably. They seem very very close. Why is she touching Gray? Why is he reacting so well to it? He shouldn’t be so happy about it! That girl needs to get her hands off of him. HE IS MINE. I mean, Gray isn’t mine. He’s just- We are just- What are we supposed to be actually? We like each other. I mean, I like him but I am unsure of his feelings towards me. Am I feeling jealous right now? Me? Jealous of that girl? No way.

“Hey _____! Come here,” Gray called me over.

Shit. He caught me spying on them. I reluctantly made my way there and was greeted with him, backhugging the girl.

“______, meet Suyeon,”


Everything became like a blur. I did not bother learning more about Suyeon. I just want to know why is she hanging out with Gray and touching him everywhere. I kept on hearing people whispering saying that both of them are married. That can’t be true. I mean. He is not married. I just can’t accept that fact. What just happened? What happened to yesterday?

I just stood there and watch them disappear from my sight.
















this was based on a dream that I had the other day. Hehehehehe Gray was so handsome~

  

Sunday, 4 August 2013

The wait

The watch on your wrist
Keeps on t i c k i n g
You kept on w a i t i n g

God knows what you're waiting for

You sat on the bench
Looking, observing, analyzing
The people
The weather
The stores
The cars
The p e o p l e

Hoping that there is something
(or preferably, someone)
F a m i l i a r
That will comfort you
In this weather
In this loneliness

But nothing
N O T H I N G
Nothing came into your sight

People kept on passing by
Looking and thinking
"This person is very patient
Waiting at the same spot
For hours"

But it wasn't you that wanted to stay
It was this tiny fire burning in you
Called Hope
That told you that everything will be alright
And so, you listened
And waited



- NJBMR

Friday, 2 August 2013

Lost

Sitting by the window

Listening to the pitter-patter of the rain

Sipping hot tea which seems to comfort her stomach

In her reflection, she saw a girl

The girl in the reflection was tearful

Her eyes, they seemed so empty

Yet so full of pain

Suddenly a man came into the reflection

His hand gripped onto her shoulder

She turned and held onto his hand

Not wanting to let go

She mouthed to him, "Promise me that you'll stay here forever."

The man just nod his head

When the girl looked away from her reflection

The man was not in sight

“Oh Papa,” she cried

“You promised but you're no longer here.”




- NJBMR